I found my first playgroup in the Ladies’ Lounge at Nordstrom, after meeting a nice new mom who invited me to a moms’ group that was meeting the next day (thankfully, at a different location). At less than a month old, Ryan didn’t need a playgroup yet, but I needed a friend and I liked Anne, so I showed up. That playgroup ended up being nine first-time moms strong, with ten babies born within ten weeks of each other. We shared sleeping woes, feeding difficulties and our babies’ doctor visits with detail that would bore even the most attentive grandmas. We stopped meeting as a playgroup long ago (another 14 babies have arrived since we met, our first babies are all kindergarteners and first-graders now), but I count some of these moms as forever friends and whenever I run into any of them at the pool club, boot camp, the grocery store or — gasp — for a real planned night out – I cherish the time catching up with the women who have played such a pivotal role in my mothering.

Some “mom friends” in my current playgroup (three of us from the original playgroup).
I know not everyone is lucky enough to make lifelong friends in a department store, nor brave/desperate enough to show up for a playgroup with someone they met while breastfeeding in said department store’s bathroom. So when I heard that a mom in my community was launching a playgroup matching service for ages birth to three, I eagerly volunteered to host a trial playgroup. Matching new parents to playgroups seems like a naturally good idea, and its founder, Meredith Magee Donnelly had an additional twist for Homegrown Friends: using her background in early childhood education (Masters in Education from Bank Street), she suggests age-appropriate playgroup activities for her playgroup members through a weekly e-mail, along with an online community forum for parents.
Playgroup activities? I was almost too timid to suggest the trial to my current playgroup. Did we need a playgroup curriculum? Our playgroup worked fine without any real agenda for the kids. Right? Well, sort of – Noah and I just had different expectations. Mine: to take a break from play dough and Elmo’s World and talk to the other moms while Noah played. His: to play with me and the host family’s toys and have lots of muffins.
A few days before my trial playgroup, I received an e-mail from Homegrown Friends, with instructions on how to prepare for and run playgroup. After my usual playgroup rapid-fire “cleaning” to hide clutter from the toy room and kitchen, I spent a few extra minutes, thinking about how to set up a few different activity stations and activities. I had most of the materials we’d need in the house already and I kept snacks simple, kid-focused and healthy (cut up fruit, crackers and some Pirate’s booty).
As the weather cooperated, Noah and I set up our activity stations outside. He loved setting up the tables and chairs with me, and spoke excitedly about where his friends would play and have snack.
Guess what? We had a blast. Having a plan for playgroup worked beautifully. This trial customer (and my little entourage) completely sold on the Homegrown Friends curriculum.
There was nothing fussy about our playgroup activities. The kids were engaged; I felt like the preschool teacher I always wanted to be. I may have lost a few minutes socializing, but since the kids were so busy, the other moms may have actually had more time to enjoy talking. After our activities, we all cleaned up, then played some music and danced around, followed by snack time, and then a little free play.
Homegrown Friends launches on Monday, August 20th in select cities in Connecticut, Iowa, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas and Wisconsin. Founder Meredith Magee Donnelly answered my biggest questions:
LTM: Aside from age and location, what other factors will you use to match members?
I remember when my son was a baby how much finding mommy friends felt like dating. While it was important for our children to be similar ages it was equally important that we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Homegrown Friends attempts to take the guess work out of making friends by pre-screening all members. Parents fill out a form rating a list of topics from very important to not at all important. Examples of topics include breastfeeding, exercise, book discussions and organic food. The goal is to match parents with similar interests.
LTM: How will families benefit from Homegrown Friends’ curriculum?
Sharing the joy of parenting is at the heart of the Homegrown Friends’ mission. In designing the curriculum my goal was to highlight the strengths of each developmental age group. Children are constantly changing and it is often hard to keep up. Parenting can feel overwhelming and isolating at times. Knowing that there are activities that are perfect for your child delivered straight to your inbox each week makes parenting fun. The curriculum contains weekly activities that explore all areas of your child’s development including the intellectual, emotional and social development as well as nutrition. Being able to share this curriculum with other parents and children only enhances the experience for all.
LTM: Will parents still have time to chat/socialize or is the whole focus on an educational experience for the kids?
Designing a curriculum with a playgroup in mind is a balancing act. While the main focus of a Homegrown Friends’ playgroup is the purposeful play of the children, the social experience of the parents is also important. Parents nurturing and supporting each other makes everyone better at their jobs. With that said this is definitely not a playgroup model where the parents are sitting in one area and the kids are playing in another. The goal is for the children to be fully engaged in the prepared activities while the parents oversee the activities. When children are having fun and are engaged this gives parents the opportunity to socialize and be present at the same time.
LTM: Like traditional playgroups, I imagine that stay at home parents will be the primary users of Homegrown Friends, but it seems ideal for working parents to do together on the weekends as well?
During the initial stages of creating Homegrown Friends I surveyed parents across the country about what they were looking for in a playgroup. From this survey it became clear that a large percentage of parents who work outside the home were looking for social opportunities on the weekends and were struggling to find them. Homegrown Friends gives parents the opportunity to create weekend playgroups. All parents deserve to benefit from a fun, supportive group of parents and children.
LTM: Is it possible for existing playgroups to join Homegrown Friends as a unit so that they can enjoy the curriculum?
During our initial launch on August 20th, Homegrown Friends will only be offering the curriculum as part of the matching service. As we grow, it is possible that we may offer the curriculum for purchase on its own.
LTM: Well, I’m going to keep asking you for that one. And for a curriculum for 4 -6 year olds too.
To win a free year’s membership of Homegrown Friends (a $50 value), please share below what you think you would enjoy the most about being part of a Homegrown Friends playgroup. Contest ends Friday, August 24th.
You can check out membership, sample activities and more on the Homegrown Friends website and follow Homegrown Friends on Facebook for some great launch specials.
















Trying to find mom friends IS like dating. I hate it
I’d love help being matched up because the group I joined cost me a membership fee and I barely attended anything. They were too cliquey. I’m in Wisconsin so I’m curious if I’m near a launch area?
Hi Darcy,
So sorry it has been a struggle, but you are not alone which is why I am so excited about Homegrown Friends. Currently, we are launching in Madison, WI.
Best-
Meredith Magee Donnelly, MS, Ed
Founder, Homegrown Friends
I have lived in West Hartford for a couple of years, and I have tons of acquaintances, but I don’t yet feel like I have many true friends. Mainly this is because I have three children, with a wide age spread, ages 2,5,9, so the typical places you might make mommy friends, like waiting for the kids to come out at preschool pick-up, I did not have time for the small talk that leads to familiarity and buds friendship, as I was chasing a toddler. And, my oldest entered a new school at the end of first grade, so I felt as much like a newbie as a parent at the elementary school as she did as a student. Whatever free time I might have had was spent juggling schedules and playing catch up. Now, my older two will be in school all day, and I long to give the son the experience of his own playgroup/special time with me, especially since he will be my last. Since there is a four year age difference between my older two kids, I can remember the weekly playgroups I attended where I used to live, with my eldest girl, which seemed a lot iike Homegrown Friends is trying to foster, and long for them. But my interests have evolved a lot since then, and I have grown a lot as a mom. In a different place and time, I am not sure where to go for this, now that I have the time and ability to do so, which is why I’d love to win a membership! I’d like to encourage Darcy not to give up. Having been a part of many moms groups over time, I think what often seems like “cliquey” may not actually be. A mom who seems like she is not totally listening to you, is also keeping her eye on the safety of her child behind you. A teacher of mine in high school always urged her students to “always give the benefit of the doubt”, and I really think that applies here. Recent moms may be hormonal, sleep deprived, struggling to lose baby weight, and all the other stresses of life. I have often been surpised by people with whom I really didn’t mesh at first and that is very gratifying!
Monica, I really appreciate your comments as they truly get at the heart of what I am trying to achieve with Homegrown Friends. I hope that the Homegrown Friends Community, both the unique playgroups and the online forum, is a place where parents can come together to support and nurture each other as we walk down this parenting journey together.
I would enjoy the matching part — I have lots of mom-friends, but our schedules are all very complex. Having someone sort through that complexity would be a huge help.
Hey!
I’m so glad I found out about this! I recently moved to CT and I don’t know anyone here. I have a 9 month old boy and I’ve been searching the Internet for activities to do with him. I’m a stay at home mom so I’m always desperately seeking interaction with other people, especially mothers. It’s difficult because I don’t know how to drive yet as I just moved from NYC where I was dependent on the MTA system. I usually have to wait for the weekends to go anywhere when my husband can drive us. I would love to meet other moms to talk to during the week and invite to my home.
We have a WINNER! I just entered your names at http://www.randompicker.com….and the winner is Lexy. Congratulations Lexy! I will get you in touch with Meredith to begin your Homegrown Friends membership.
Darcy, Monica and Tiffany – thank you so much for sharing your experiences and for your willingness to try a new playgroup. I imagine Homegrown Friends will make this process much easier and enjoyable for you and your families.
Plum District (a partner of Diapers.com) is currently offering 50% Homegrown Friends Membership. You can find the deal at http://www.plumdistrict.com/deals/homegrown-friends-1-year-membership-to-homegrown-friends-uRQTXJ