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Are We There Yet? Tips for Your Upcoming Family Travels

November 13, 2012

Spending four hours in the car with my six year old on Saturday reminded me that the season of long car and plane rides has arrived.

Kids acting badly (or loudly) can happen to the best of us. What’s more annoying to me than a baby crying on an airplane? Watching the baby’s parent trying to quiet the baby by shaking the same stuffed toy at them for two hours. More bothersome than kicking toddlers or whiny eight year olds in the seat behind me? The parents who either endlessly yell at or totally ignore their kids the whole journey.

I find traveling with kids is best when you are relaxed (as relaxed as you can be carrying a stroller and two carseats through security) and prepared — not just with the essentials — but ready to be your child’s chief entertainment for the duration. Hopefully, you will be so prepared that you won’t actually have to entertain them the whole trip, but let’s just assume you aren’t going to get too far in your new book on your upcoming flight or catch up on phone calls to old friends on your road trip.

RELAX: The adventure begins well before you reach your destination.

I usually check out the airports we are traveling through to see if they have a kids’ play area, art exhibit or fun restaurants. Might as well start the trip with some playtime, rather than just waiting to get where you are going. Act impatient, annoyed or stressed, and your kids will follow suit. Your vacation begins when you leave your house: enjoy it — or fake it!

Ryan, then age 1, at Philly’s airport installation of the”Please Touch” children’s museum.

Who needs a play area when there is so much to explore?

Ditto the road trips. Since this Saturday “errands” (two long stories that aren’t important right now) stretched us across Connecticut from New York to Rhode Island, I had a few potential pit stops in mind – a kid’s museum and aquarium (tabled for another trip), a landmark pizza joint (Ryan chose a bagel instead) and a candy factory just minutes off the highway.

I kept the PEZ factory a secret, though Ryan and I played 20 questions to see if he could figure out where we were going. Since he probably never thought about where his beloved PEZ come from, it is no wonder he couldn’t guess it. He did offer to trade me “a ticket” if I would tell him where we were headed, which brings me to my second tool in my traveling fanny pack…

PREPARE: Surprises, rewards and goodies, oh my!

Over the summer, I tested out some printable travel “tickets” from the blog Mom’s Minivan. For our frequent 3 hour rides to New Hampshire, I gave each of my boys six or seven tickets, one redeemable every thirty minutes (or thirty miles) for a surprise of my choosing (a snack, a movie, a book read aloud). The tickets kept everyone busy and happy and helped the kids track our journey. They are still floating around my car and the boys continue to try to use them as currency for a snack or – as Ryan did this weekend – to get the mystery destination out of me.

To give my kids a bit more decision-making power for our upcoming travels, I made our own set of Travel Tickets, which include most of the categories of activities I can think of for keeping my kids busy while seated.

Here’s what I am envisioning:

Screen Time: An easy favorite but worth limiting the movies, games and books on our various digital devices.
Story Time: We will bring along a few new/used books and some old favorites. Also will be ready to tell stories, make up some new ones and build-a-story with each of us adding on bits of silliness.
Snack Time: Fruit, trail mix with chocolate chips, plus a few treats they don’t see a lot (Oreos, Apple Jacks, fruit snacks).
Tunes Time: A good time to upload some new songs on digital devices, print out some lyrics of fun songs and be ready for a sing-a-long (may be better suited for a road trip). My oldest loves the Kidz Bop tracks (and Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire); they both like singing the SpongeBob theme song.
Meal Time: Pack ahead or be flexible!
Rest Time: I may hold onto these and distribute them when I deem necessary.
Mystery Time: Dollar store toys, switching seats, jokes, whatever else you can think of.
Art Time: See my Spring Break Post on art in the friendly skies. Make a travel journal, bring a roll of aluminum foil for sculpture. Play “police sketch artist” by having one person describe a person and the other draw/color it.
Game Time: If you’re desperate, you can use the screen – presumably the vacation ahead will likely have much less screen-time. Or try 20 questions, I Spy, charades, cards and more. I picked up a few school-like workbooks (mazes, phonics, math) recently and my kids have loved working through them. Rest stop news stands now have some pretty good selections, much improved from the Invisible Ink of my childhood.

Both my kids LOVE these sticker puzzle books – also available in Marvel Heroes, Disney Princesses and Cars. Available at Amazon.

These Flip and Click books make it easy to play Hangman, Memory and Bingo on the go.

Memory Time: While you’ve got time, share some stories of other trips you’ve taken, of the people you are traveling with or visiting (extra points for silly or gross stories).

You can print these tickets (and some blank tickets) here: LTM Travel Ticket Set.

How do you keep your kids busy while traveling? Let me know!

Know someone who could use some tips traveling with their family? Share this article by clicking on the pinterest or Facebook links below.

Dishing on My New Dishes

October 23, 2012

I love all things IKEA.

I have even loved IKEA’s super-durable kid tableware.

Ikea’s Kalas Collection – Photo by Hopper Tots

They are BPA-free and quite the right size for kid hands. They are inexpensive and have held up to daily dishwasher use.

But I’ve come to hate looking at them everyday. Are my kids eating or playing with bath toys? You have never seen a morsel of food photographed on their IKEA plates because no food looks remotely appetizing on brightly colored plastic. Maybe that’s why they hardly eat anything these days?

I love my kids to use real ceramic dishes and they often do, but unbreakable plastic just makes so much sense for quick meals, snacks, picnics and play-dates.

In March, I thought I solved the problem and I couldn’t wait to share it with you. My friends, I nearly steered you SO wrong. I found an adorable set of modern plastic plates from Target (the set on the left) and bought a whole set for $30.

I loved how they looked on my counter, in my kitchen drawer, even in my dishwasher. I used them proudly for a playdate, enjoying a few immediate compliments. One mom asked if they could go in the microwave. I shrugged. Out of habit, except when I’m in a real rush, I don’t microwave plastic.

It didn’t much matter to me if my Target plates were microwave safe, but I checked later out of curiosity. Made of Melamine. Melamine always sounds so nice and smooth to me, like my sister’s name Melanie. And the prints on melamine are usually so cute and sweet. They are everywhere – from Pottery Barn Kids to Anthropologie. When they are used correctly, melamine plates are probably not terribly toxic to our children, but most do contain formaldehyde, which at any level, I do not wish to serve to my children several times a day. You can read more about melamine at Healthy Child.

I had saved my sales receipt, but the Target associate was less than thrilled to return the plates without their original stickers (they had been in use for a week or so), and she was not moved by my discussion on melamine. I definitely have a strike in my file there. At least I won’t be the first in my family to be banned from returning things to Target (that was Melanie).

It’s taken me six months to find a proper alternative, and I found it in my local, smartly-stocked-for suburban-Main-Street but no frills hardware shop.

Made by Now Designs, the Ecologie dinnerware is made from a plastic-like material made of crushed bamboo and rice husks. It is advertised as food safe, containing no harmful chemicals. They are top-rack dishwasher safe and not intended for microwave use. Unlike other similar collections, these have a smooth matte finish that I like.

We’ve used a handful of plates and bowls for a month and they have shown no signs of wear, though I found this FAQ on the company’s website:

Your catalog says that Ecologie dinnerware is biodegradable. Will it biodegrade while I use it?

No. Ecologie Dinnereware is made from bamboo fiber and rice husks, a waste by-product of rice harvesting. It will only biodegrade under certain conditions: in a landfill, exposed to water, air, earth and bacteria. It will not biodegrade in your cupboards or in your dishwasher. It should last for years. That said, it is not an appropriate substitute for everyday ceramic dinnerware. The material does scratch if you use a serrated knife and it will show wear and tear if used every day. It is best suited to occasional use, especially outdoor dining.

The plates come in a variety of colors, including, a natural color (not pictured) and are available at Amazon.com.

Last week’s sweet potato quesadilla. Almost appetizing.

What do you use for kid-friendly or outdoor dining at your house?

Looking for a kid-friendly snack?

Don’t miss Love U Madly’s Baked Pumpkin Donut Holes which my family is currently devouring.

Good Morning Helicopter Mom

October 9, 2012

Greetings upon returning to my kitchen after dropping both boys off at school one day last week:

Totally expected remains of the day: crumbs of pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, a few spoonfuls of Ciobani, crackers left behind by the cheese. The boys are pretty good about bringing dirty dishes to the sink, but our morning rush is short and well, rushed. No sweat.

Except…what is that striped thing?

Pirate sash. Which Ryan selected to bring in for Pattern Day in kindergarten. And then left behind on the counter to stare at me, begging me to bring it to school.

I could be back at school in a minute, just slip it in his locker. It would take just a few minutes. I probably could do it totally undetected.

The urge was crazy, I knew it.

Years ago, I laughed at a parenting talk with Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B-Minus, when she described college kids calling home from the line in the dining hall, asking mom if they like Chicken Cordon Bleu. I found it ridiculous that college professors today receive e-mailed versions of final papers from students with Mom’s edits visible because the “track changes” view had been accidentally left on), and an annoying waste of resources that The Peace Corps had to add additional staff to deal with endless calls from parents that their children stationed in remote locations couldn’t be reached by text, e-mail or cell.

It’s one thing to be a helicopter mom with a toddler, helping them navigate playdate squabbles and packing their preschool bags each day. It’s a different story when your school aged child’s “homework” is staring at you. I couldn’t believe how much I wanted to fix this problem for Ryan.

Of course, I wanted both of us to make a good impression on his teacher. Maybe I could e-mail her to explain? Just imagine.

Dear Mrs. G.,

We were SO ready for Pattern Day. We read your adorable bright orange handout together days ago and knew Ryan had to (1) wear something with a pattern on it and (2) bring a second patterned item in to share. We went through Ryan’s closet: he nixed the plaid button downs and striped polo shirts, but brilliantly thought of making a shirt to wear (his idea!!), using a bleach pen a la our army alphabet shirts (which of course, I washed and dried on Pattern Day Eve). For his patterned item, he settled on a somewhat complicated pattern on his pillowcase.

Fast forward to this morning, Ryan dressed in his newly patterned t-shirt and packed his backpack by himself. I did remind him to grab the pillowcase from upstairs. He reacted as if I suggested he climb the Empire State Building. Instead, he decided to find something patterned in the toy room. He quickly settled on the sash, then ran in the kitchen to eat a little more breakfast. That’s when he forgot his sash.

I thought about bringing it to school, but I want to teach Ryan that his homework is his responsiblity. Just wanted to let you know. I didn’t want you to think I forgot or didn’t read your note about Pattern Day.

Yours,

Ryan’s Mom

Nonsense, I knew it. This might be the first time, but surely not the last I’ll have to overrule my motherly instinct and instead let my baby squirm, let him be a little uncomfortable. Pirate sash left on the counter, where (as expected), it remains a few days later.

How did Ryan fare? Well, he hasn’t been kicked out of kindergarten yet. At pick up on Friday, he brought up the forgotten sash right away. He volunteered that you could either wear something patterned OR bring something patterned; you didn’t have to do both. It was not entirely believable, but I’ll never know. My first taste of MYOB. So much homework and library book days ahead of me…I mean, ahead of them.

On Making Money

September 20, 2012

Me? Make money?

Now, that I’ve got at least my husband’s attention…no business announcements yet (maybe someday), but we did print our own fake money for my three-year old son’s grocery party.

I started with $1 dollar bills with Noah’s mug.

My six year old has been memorizing the Presidents on each bill, and talking a lot about millions and billions so the timing was just right for me to make up a $1 million bill with his face on it.

My kids loved seeing their faces on money. Ryan asked me to write his lunchbox notes on the back of “his money.” In a borderline awkward moment (for me), Ryan even gave one of his 1 million dollar bill to our housekeeper. Which led Noah to run around the house looking for “his money” to give to Christine. She was honored and tells me she displays the bills proudly on her refrigerator.

Using the free (and, I hope, legal) site Festisite, it took me minutes to print a set for each kiddo at the birthday party (you can also see the magnetic/dry-erase shopping lists we created here). I thought Noah’s Fresh Market theme was Noah-centric enough, so I used each kid’s face on their own set of dollar bills. I am pretty sure it was a hit because the kids wouldn’t spend their dollars at our pretend market; they only would part with the plastic coins they collected during our egg hunt.

The site amazingly has scanned in currencies from across the world.

So with one click, I could put Ryan’s face on the Israeli Shekel:

the Italian Lire (this is an old one – I think they went Euro):

The Austrian Shilling:

Or our mutual favorite, the Korean Won:

Be prepared for some giggling (you should see Ryan’s Indonesian bill) and to say something parental and proper like “People from other countries or centuries sometimes dress or look differently than us. That’s what makes the world such an interesting place.”

Endless applications for pretend play, math play and cultural explorating. If a bill happens to pique your child’s interest – even if evidenced only by giggling – help him locate the country on a map and do some reading about what its like to grow up in that country.

We picked up this book and read it before Noah’s birthday and learned about birthday traditions across the world - a very sweet starter topic to spark your child’s cultural interest and awareness. We figured out our Chinese animal signs and learned about Dutch “crown birthdays.”

I also just picked up this book on my cousin’s recommendation as our nation (and my evening phone lines) gears up for our presidential election.

In case you think we only read culturally important non-fiction books, I also gave in and bought this one after Ryan spent 10 minutes looking at every Captain Underpants book in Barnes & Noble.

Playgroup with A Plan

August 17, 2012

I found my first playgroup in the Ladies’ Lounge at Nordstrom, after meeting a nice new mom who invited me to a moms’ group that was meeting the next day (thankfully, at a different location). At less than a month old, Ryan didn’t need a playgroup yet, but I needed a friend and I liked Anne, so I showed up. That playgroup ended up being nine first-time moms strong, with ten babies born within ten weeks of each other. We shared sleeping woes, feeding difficulties and our babies’ doctor visits with detail that would bore even the most attentive grandmas. We stopped meeting as a playgroup long ago (another 14 babies have arrived since we met, our first babies are all kindergarteners and first-graders now), but I count some of these moms as forever friends and whenever I run into any of them at the pool club, boot camp, the grocery store or — gasp — for a real planned night out – I cherish the time catching up with the women who have played such a pivotal role in my mothering.

Some “mom friends” in my current playgroup (three of us from the original playgroup).

I know not everyone is lucky enough to make lifelong friends in a department store, nor brave/desperate enough to show up for a playgroup with someone they met while breastfeeding in said department store’s bathroom. So when I heard that a mom in my community was launching a playgroup matching service for ages birth to three, I eagerly volunteered to host a trial playgroup. Matching new parents to playgroups seems like a naturally good idea, and its founder, Meredith Magee Donnelly had an additional twist for Homegrown Friends: using her background in early childhood education (Masters in Education from Bank Street), she suggests age-appropriate playgroup activities for her playgroup members through a weekly e-mail, along with an online community forum for parents.

Playgroup activities? I was almost too timid to suggest the trial to my current playgroup. Did we need a playgroup curriculum? Our playgroup worked fine without any real agenda for the kids. Right? Well, sort of – Noah and I just had different expectations. Mine: to take a break from play dough and Elmo’s World and talk to the other moms while Noah played. His: to play with me and the host family’s toys and have lots of muffins.

A few days before my trial playgroup, I received an e-mail from Homegrown Friends, with instructions on how to prepare for and run playgroup. After my usual playgroup rapid-fire “cleaning” to hide clutter from the toy room and kitchen, I spent a few extra minutes, thinking about how to set up a few different activity stations and activities. I had most of the materials we’d need in the house already and I kept snacks simple, kid-focused and healthy (cut up fruit, crackers and some Pirate’s booty).

As the weather cooperated, Noah and I set up our activity stations outside. He loved setting up the tables and chairs with me, and spoke excitedly about where his friends would play and have snack.

Guess what? We had a blast. Having a plan for playgroup worked beautifully. This trial customer (and my little entourage) completely sold on the Homegrown Friends curriculum.

There was nothing fussy about our playgroup activities. The kids were engaged; I felt like the preschool teacher I always wanted to be. I may have lost a few minutes socializing, but since the kids were so busy, the other moms may have actually had more time to enjoy talking. After our activities, we all cleaned up, then played some music and danced around, followed by snack time, and then a little free play.

Homegrown Friends launches on Monday, August 20th in select cities in Connecticut, Iowa, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas and Wisconsin. Founder Meredith Magee Donnelly answered my biggest questions:

LTM: Aside from age and location, what other factors will you use to match members?

I remember when my son was a baby how much finding mommy friends felt like dating. While it was important for our children to be similar ages it was equally important that we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Homegrown Friends attempts to take the guess work out of making friends by pre-screening all members. Parents fill out a form rating a list of topics from very important to not at all important. Examples of topics include breastfeeding, exercise, book discussions and organic food. The goal is to match parents with similar interests.

LTM: How will families benefit from Homegrown Friends’ curriculum?

Sharing the joy of parenting is at the heart of the Homegrown Friends’ mission. In designing the curriculum my goal was to highlight the strengths of each developmental age group. Children are constantly changing and it is often hard to keep up. Parenting can feel overwhelming and isolating at times. Knowing that there are activities that are perfect for your child delivered straight to your inbox each week makes parenting fun. The curriculum contains weekly activities that explore all areas of your child’s development including the intellectual, emotional and social development as well as nutrition. Being able to share this curriculum with other parents and children only enhances the experience for all.

LTM: Will parents still have time to chat/socialize or is the whole focus on an educational experience for the kids?

Designing a curriculum with a playgroup in mind is a balancing act. While the main focus of a Homegrown Friends’ playgroup is the purposeful play of the children, the social experience of the parents is also important. Parents nurturing and supporting each other makes everyone better at their jobs. With that said this is definitely not a playgroup model where the parents are sitting in one area and the kids are playing in another. The goal is for the children to be fully engaged in the prepared activities while the parents oversee the activities. When children are having fun and are engaged this gives parents the opportunity to socialize and be present at the same time.

LTM: Like traditional playgroups, I imagine that stay at home parents will be the primary users of Homegrown Friends, but it seems ideal for working parents to do together on the weekends as well?

During the initial stages of creating Homegrown Friends I surveyed parents across the country about what they were looking for in a playgroup. From this survey it became clear that a large percentage of parents who work outside the home were looking for social opportunities on the weekends and were struggling to find them. Homegrown Friends gives parents the opportunity to create weekend playgroups. All parents deserve to benefit from a fun, supportive group of parents and children.

LTM: Is it possible for existing playgroups to join Homegrown Friends as a unit so that they can enjoy the curriculum?

During our initial launch on August 20^th, Homegrown Friends will only be offering the curriculum as part of the matching service. As we grow, it is possible that we may offer the curriculum for purchase on its own.

LTM: Well, I’m going to keep asking you for that one. And for a curriculum for 4 -6 year olds too.

To win a free year’s membership of Homegrown Friends (a $50 value), please share below what you think you would enjoy the most about being part of a Homegrown Friends playgroup. Contest ends Friday, August 24th.

You can check out membership, sample activities and more on the Homegrown Friends website and follow Homegrown Friends on Facebook for some great launch specials.

On Closer Examination

July 27, 2012

I’ve been leaning towards this announcement for some time. Here goes:

I’m abandoning the 5 days a week posts (inspired by my LITTLE sister’s crazy stamina at Love U Madly) and switching to a posting schedule of Tuesday and Friday, with a sometimes-weekend adventure/craft/cooking wrap up on Mondays (also copying my LITTLE sister on that one).

I love writing this blog. It is rarely a chore. I get to tell stories here. Like the whole story I want to tell; stories that do not get all hacked with the interruptions of my day job as a mom. But the fact is my day job is my most important job, and its hard to do well when I stay up late writing and posting (this has always been a problem – I like the wee hours).

As you know if you’ve been reading long enough, I am indecisive and a hopeless researcher, though I did pick the PERFECT paint color for my house (more on that soon). Just like when I randomly dropped requests for the “perfect gray” into casual conversations for the last six months, I’ve been testing my posting schedule out on a number of advisors. Here’s what they had to say:

My mom: “What does Kim think? If Kim thinks that’s a good idea, you should do it.”

My Sister, Kim: “It’s a good idea. Actually it’s my good idea. I told you to post twice a week six months ago.”

Terry Walters, Author of Best-Selling Books”Clean Food” and “Clean Start” and Cooking Instructor: “It’s simply not sustainable” (to blog late at night, five days a week with little ones at home and ambitions to work/exercise/see my husband and friends/enjoy life).

Our family friend Joy Leavitt, owner of the fabulous Kiddlywinks toy stores in Canton, CT and Longmeadow, MA: “Haven’t you heard the latest term: YOLO. You Only Live Once.”

When I told my six year old the new schedule, his response was right on the money: So you won’t be too tired to get up with us in the mornings? You got it, bud.

When I’m not posting here, I’ll be sharing plenty of our adventures on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, so be sure to sign up to catch me there.

Sorry To Bring It Up, But…

July 16, 2012

In case you haven’t heard by now, I completely and utterly relaxed on my vacation to Brazil.

I took pictures of my husband surfing and diving into the ocean, giving him the attention and megapixels I usually reserve for my children.

I watched two sweet and beautiful independent films, which both took me far, far away as I was in fact flying far, far away on the plane.

I read one and half books.

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn

Thanks to my sister Melanie’s recommendation, I for once have read the “book of the summer,” the same summer it was released. When this psychological thriller is released on the big screen (it’s a given), I can actually go see it with my husband, instead of saying (as I did when he watched The Hunger Games on the plane) that I want to read the book first.

This book is crazy and disturbing and I couldn’t put it down. If I say anything more, I’ll spoil it.

The Paris Wife, Paula McClain

This is the 1/2 book I read, a fictional account of Ernest Hemingway’s first wife, Hadley. I like it and I will finish it, just not as quickly as Gone Girl. I imagine I’ve already read what will leave the most lasting impression on me: the scene where Hadley loses a valise full of her husband’s manuscripts (what might have been his first novel) on a Parisian train. Although the book is fiction, this wifely error is documented in Hemingway’s letters. I’ve already shared this it-could-be-worse scene with a few, including the lady at the auto-shop who repaired my car when I backed into my mother’s car in my driveway (the same lady who repaired my car when I backed into my mother-in-law’s car in my driveway). How many times will I think of this when I lose something or make a mistake? I hope every time.

The only thing more relaxing than the trip itself: the awareness of the traveling-without-my-kids anxiety actually leaving my body once I arrived home. I didn’t know how severe the anxiety was until it was gone, though its probably quite normal when you are traveling without your kids to imagine the worst:

Is that airplane turbulence normal or are we plummeting into the ocean?
Will the understandably distracted (and speeding) Brazilian bride make Rio headlines on the eve of her wedding when her armoured SUV flips over with me inside?
What is this cab driver with 101 Dalmatian bobbleheads on his front and rear dash planning to do with us?

In order for my anxiety to serve some useful purpose, please let it remind you to have your documents in order…whether you are traveling or not. You know which documents I mean.

It did not provide me much comfort to have my documents in order, but I know that should the cab driver have fed me to his Dalmatians, it is far better to have a will that spells out my beneficiaries and the intended guardianship of my children than to have downloaded the book of the summer to my Kindle.

The very first time I boarded a plane without my firstborn, I spent the night before the flight typing up a codicil to my will to amend the guardianship provision. I convinced the Homeland Security agents at the airport to act as my two witnesses required under Connecticut law, then mailed the codicil to my sister before boarding my flight. Don’t wait till then – you’ll look nuts. I am DEFINITELY NOT giving you legal advice here, but if you don’t have a will, figure out how to get one or check the formalities your state requires, and write one yourself.

While I’m talking about documents, we always leave a signed Consent for Medical Treatment with our parents or babysitters, along with a copy of our insurance card, just in case we are unreachable and our children need medical care. Again, this is NOT legal advice. I have not investigated the legality of this consent form, and laws regarding consent may vary by state, but we use a form similar to this Momready Medical Release Form.

Allowance: To Give or Not To Give

July 5, 2012

How do you teach kids the value of a dollar without having dramatic public meltdowns in the toy or candy aisles?

I remember one back-to-school shopping trip at The Gap right before seventh grade. I was so excited about the load of cute clothes my mom and I brought from the fitting room to the register. And so shocked and devastated when Mom turned to me in line and suggested we split the cost.

I had no allowance to draw on. My babysitting money would hardly make a dent. Hopelessly dependent on my mother’s generosity, I made some agonizing choices and left with half of the clothes.

This was one of many ways my mom tried to teach me that it was far better to have a few fine things I really loved that a slew of one-season wares. I was raised to clean up my toys and room, help with dinner and with my little sister, but I didn’t get paid for these jobs, or receive an allowance. I did what mom said and I got what mom got me. Until I started working, she had money and I had none. Not a bad lesson at all.

My husband did receive an allowance as a kid. Given my background, I was unsettled about giving our kids allowance, until I explored the Love & Logic parenting philosophy, which encourages giving a weekly allowance at an early age. The allowance is not tied to doing chores; chores are expected ways for kids to contribute to the family. The allowance is your child´s to spend or save, regardless of whether their chores are finished (there are other consequences for not helping with chores). The theory is that giving kids an allowance allows them to make their own decision regarding saving, spending and giving. It provides them experience handling and managing money (and making mistakes with money), at relatively little cost to the parent.

We started giving Ryan, age 5, $3 a week this year, and we record it in the back of one of his notebooks. I would have gone with a buck a week, but our L&L instructor urged us to set a meaningful amount that would enable him to actually be able to afford something he wanted, like a new lego set or power ranger, in a month´s time.

You can see Ryan has been a pretty good saver. Just a few expenditures: $4.00 contribution for a t-shirt purchased at the play Shrek! and a Star Wars book I did not want to buy at his school book fair. This is the best part of allowance for us so far: we can say no to Ryan if we don’t approve of the purchase, yet still provide him the opportunity to buy items with his own money. I try to remind Ryan to bring his own money when we got to a show or a fair where I know he’ll see souvenirs he will like. I don’t always remember to let him make the purchases. Which is why he has $72.00 saved, including a whopping $20 graduation gift from his Nana Selma.

We have a few simple rules:

If Ryan forgets to request or log his allowance for more than four weeks, we don’t have to pay him for the “arrearage.”
If Ryan doesn’t call or say thank you for a gift received, he cannot keep it. ***Gift from Nana Selma is close to the penalty stage.****

I cleaned up our “ledger” a bit and created a kid’s bank book for you to download.

I might move my checkbook ledger to this form! I might actually reconcile it.

Kids Bank Book (Printable PDF – Click to Download)

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A Strawful of Something Makes The Moo Juice Go Down

June 13, 2012

Though I know cow’s milk is by no means an essential part of a kid’s healthy diet, I — like many moms before me — find it a convenient source of lots of good nutrients for my kiddos. There are days when even my kale-loving child grazes from nutrition-less bagel breakfasts to pasta and butter dinners, with a cupcake or grilled cheese thrown in between. On those kind of days, the 1950s mom in me does feel better knowing a cup of low fat milk has graced my son’s body.

Which would be great if either of my kids actually drank milk beyond the cookie-dunk or cereal topper.

Milk intake got a boost in my house recently after we finally tried the trend of flavored straws, which premiered in Spring of 2011. The “Magic Milk Straws” are recyclable plastic straws filled with little beads — okay, let’s be honest here, they are little candy beads. You stick the straw in your milk and the milk is sucked up through the straw, collecting flavor along the way. The beads don’t actually come out of the straw, but dissolve to mildly sweeten the milk.

The trend has gone mainstream in my kitchen, starting with the very basic flavors:

According to the manufacturer’s website, the straws are all natural (no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives), gluten-free, low in sugar, lactose free (you can use them in soy or Lactaid milk), fat-free, cholesterol-free and safe for people with corn, nut and soy allergies.

So what is in these straws?

I had to look at the actual packaging because the Got Milk! Magic Milk Straws website neglects to list out the ingredients and nutritional facts, even under its “Nutrition” tab. An oversight by the the very smart folks behind the Got Milk! campaign? I think not.

The ingredients in the chocolate flavor include: sugar, cocoa powder, glucose syrup, water, dextrose, chocolate flavor. That’s not exactly a hit parade of health food, but considering each straw gets my kids to drink an entire cup of milk they wouldn’t otherwise sip, I think I can live with the four grams of sugar (about 1 teaspoon) and undeclared flavorings, as an occasional (a few times a week) enticement to drink milk.

Got Milk? offers this somewhat convincing comparison chart:

Would I rather my kids drink plain milk instead of using a flavored straw? Yes.

Would I rather my kids drink water plus a perfectly-balanced diet of foods that made drinking milk totally unnecessary? Sure.

Until that happens, I’m willing to live with the straws.

Where to Find: I have spotted Magic Milk Straws at Target, Walmart and iParty. I’ve been tempted to buy the 48 pack canister of mixed varieties too, though I’ve skipped it since many reviewers complained that their packs included only strawberry straws.

Sisters Weekend. Encore, Please.

May 21, 2012

“How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that.

How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty.

And yet it all seems limitless.”

― Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky

My sister Melanie included the quote above in a book she made me for my high school graduation. I think of it often. However bleak the author’s intentions, it keeps me aware of the precious moments and relationships that define our lives

If the weekend away with my sisters in Martha’s Vineyard didn’t swirl up specific memories of afternoons in our childhood spent together, it certainly swelled with a general vision of who we are as sisters and how undeniably richer our lives are for having each other in them.

This was my 35th birthday celebration weekend. My sisters treated me like a birthday queen all weekend. We’re all hoping it was only the first of many sisters’ getaways. Though sometimes, we will bring our husbands. And our kids. And our parents.

Lots of islanders and tourists recognized us as sisters. We giggled at our differences.

In wake-up times.

Kim: 5:30 a.m. Me: 9:00 a.m. Melanie: Later than that.

In pedicure polish.

You can guess who’s who.

In taste buds.

Them: tuna steak, clam chowder, calamari, lobster, chorizo, ham.

Me: Salad, pizza, artichokes, chicken, turkey.

Food Photography by Kimberly Matus

In fashion.

For the 15 mile round-trip coastal bike ride from Edgartown to Vineyard Haven, Melanie and I donned our finest wicking, athletic wear and sneakers.

Kim, our consummate fashionista, dressed like this:

As we have done for Kim’s whole adorably gorgeous life, Melanie and I laughed hysterically at Kim’s selections, while being completely envious of her body, wardrobe and sense of style. Or I should say, I laughed hysterically, while being completely envious of Kim’s body, wardrobe and sense of style, while Melanie, smartly diplomatic (and completely envious of Kim’s body, wardrobe and sense of style), asked, “You want to wear shorts on a bike?”

To which Kim answered, “I think they’re better than a long dress.”

I am still laughing hysterically. Less at Kim, than at me. I wear workout clothes more times in a week than my naturally stunning little sister wears all year. Kim did change into my extra pair of workout capris and running socks and Melanie’s extra set of sneakers. It was the right choice for our very long day of biking, though Kim clearly won the wardrobe prize the rest of the weekend. I tried very hard to take styling notes.

Martha’s Vineyard is beautiful, rustic in parts, and as we learned in Sunday’s confusing adventure, very, very large. Cycling through the island flooded me with memories of other island journeys, afternoons I might not have ever remembered without experiencing this one, like an accidentally epic 30 miler in Lipari off the coast of Sicily and picnicking in Kangaroo Island, Australia.

Thank you, Melanie and Kim, a hundred times over. I am so grateful we found the time to be together. And even more grateful, that we all can’t wait to do it again.

To see more of our awesome itinerary, vistas and culinary delights, visit Love U Madly.